


we dont matter

by Mcflurries



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Cuban Lance (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) Has Abandonment Issues, Keith is 17, Kolivan and Krolia are siblings, Korean Keith (Voltron), Lance is 18, M/M, Triggers, a bit of high school, a long haired german shepared, and keith was born and raise in texas, kosmos is a puppy, krolia grew up in korea, lance had mental issues, oh and keith likes country music, run away au, tex and krolia are both dead, this can be veiwed as a platonic fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-01 12:18:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17867120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mcflurries/pseuds/Mcflurries
Summary: Lance Charles Serrano McLain a typical angsty teen with self-doubting thought and thoughts of killing himself though he would never admit to anyone that he was contemplating suicide he would show signs of ending his life soon. selling his stuff, pushing his family away, and not opening up. lance feels as if he's a burden to his family like he doesn't exist. that's far from the truth his family showing sins that they want him in their lives, but lance is 18 and can do what he wants and go wherever he wants and that what he does.---Keith Akira Kogane the orphan that lived with father after his mother passed away when he was six years old and had to witness the cold world take the only other parent he had, his father, die when he was only nine. keith doesn't have any real problems aside from the anxiety of losing people other than that he's mentally okay. keith is a 17-year-old, about to be 18 in a couple days, runs away from his only living relative that lived in Florida, he lived in Texas, he runs away to where his father was born. California---these two morons don't have much in common but can you blame two broken people to find comfort in each other





	we dont matter

**Author's Note:**

> look i know my writing is shitty im working on it but look hereare things that are implied or referenced:mass shootings, school shootings, thoughts of suicide, and some animal death but its not in detail.  
> on a lighter note listen to the song i like it and i thught it matched but eh...

[  **You ever feel like you don't have purpose or don't have anything to live for you just lay in bed wasting space that your siblings could be on but you still feel your not good enough for anyone or anything you just want to end and you feel so compelled to end it but you can't because your scared, scared that the people have to deal with you issues you left behind. But it doesn't matter because no one matters in the grand scheme of life except if you have members in your family that are wealthy or have a parent who is famous. You don't matter, I don't matter, we don't matter so, let's not matter.to anyone, but no one**](https://open.spotify.com/track/0NI2W5tqkfMWwY1nhl0iPe?si=8N7eyPjuRpyp058ST3kMpA)

* * *

 

**October 18th,2030**

He rolled out of bed glancing to his left, then immediately looking at the almost empty room. nothing to love. nothing to love him back. Nothing but calming silence realizing that he woke up at 4 am again he glanced at his empty bedroom not caring, not that he cared anymore. He stopped caring not wanting to care **no one cares** they pretend they do with their cooing and whines, but they don't care they really don't. He waited till 5:30 to get out of bed and shower, He walked past the typical Hispanic portraits all of them full of kids. starting with him, next Marco, Luis, Rachel, and Veronica, then Marcos kids and his girlfriend and then the rest of the family and slowly lances opened smile closing and him being pushed out of the portraits.

**October 18th,2030**

He took a quick shower not wanting to waste the warm water and wanting to get out quick of both the shower and the house, he changed into the clothes he washed at the public laundry place. He grabbed a hoodie he bought and pants he also bought. He was walking out of the house when a voice came behind him _“ya te estas yendo pero no ha comido nada”_ he didn't turn around to know who was telling him that he felt a hand touch his shoulder _“Ven aquí ayúdame a cocinar para la familia, Como solíamos cuando eras más joven”_ he made his way to the door brushing the hand-off his shoulder. He hears a heavy sigh coming from his mother's mouth _“ Por favor, la familia ha estado preguntando por ti estos últimos meses.”_ he didn't really want to see anyone no not really so he just left.

_(translation you're leaving already. but you haven't eaten anything. come here and help me cook for the family like we use to when you were younger. please the family has been asking for you these past few months)_

He was walking not knowing what to do for 2 hours so he walked around the park once, that was about 30 minutes, he then walked around the lake near the park that was an hour, he let the dark cloud in his head tell him what he already knew **he didn't want to live anymore.** he had already sold his belongings to people, even his bed and got a couple of jobs to support himself **he didn't need pity, he doesn't want help, he doesn't need anyone** to be there for him. He looked around for something and saw a mother rabbit with her kits he assumed that it was the first time they were going out of the den, he smiled at that **the thought of a family that loved him** he looked at the family and saw the family was hopping away except for one he assumed it was the runt of the litter he walked over to it his assumption was right the baby was small enough that it fits in the palm of hand he debated whether he should take it or let nature do its thing. He glanced at the mother that was hopping away with her other kit’s he looked down again he didn't know what to do, **not wanting to get attached** he stayed, with it from a far distance of course, but in his line of sight so if anything happened he could help and if the mom came back he could leave he didn't really feel like going to school today so he sat down and kept his eyes tamed on the small kit and kept an eye out.

He soon realized that the kit was abandoned because he was a runt so he walked over to the kit and saw that **it had died.** He looked down at the dead rabbit feeling **his eyes prick** he shook his head and dug a tiny hole to put the kit in and walked away from the park not wanting to be there anymore. ~~ _‘This world is just full of death’_~~ he shook his head thinking of all ~~ _the mass shootings, school shootings, hate crimes, people dying._~~ **PEOPLE ARE DYING** and **he's crying** over a dead rabbit but he wasn't he was crying because of that no but because _people are suffering people, and want to die but want to die on their terms not die because of some homophobe or a psychopath wants to shoot up a school or some redneck that thinks gays are sick people and are the germs on the planet._ He was **just so sad** that humanity had come to that.

* * *

By the time he got to school 5th period had already started meaning he missed lunch which meant **he wouldn't eat** till tomorrow. He walked over to his desk where he was near the back but the door was right next to him so **he could just leave** if he wanted to. As he started to think he had orchestra class next, That would be okay maybe he didn't really like it, he was there for the fine arts credit he needs and maybe a scholarship he didn't know he loved playing his viola but he didn't know how to feel about anything he had talked to his teacher about paying his instrument and said it was fine and wouldn't have to worry, all he had to focus on was playing. He was pulled out of his train of thought by hearing the bell and took that as his cue to leave but, before he left he heard his physics teacher rambling but he got up not really caring. As he was walking to the orchestra room he saw a boy **being shoved on accident** to the floor he went to help him _‘here’_ he offered his hand to strange looking kid _‘thanks’_ the black-haired boy said _‘I'm Keith, you?’_ he said but the boy who had just helped him had already started walking away.

As soon as he got to the orchestra room he saw that two people where already there he **didn't pay too much attention** to that cause **he didn't care about them.** He walked over to the lockers and got his viola and music, lance was the best violinist there was in the varsity orchestra that's why he sat in the first chair all throughout high school. Their music was difficult but nowhere near as complicated. He saw the two people he saw when he first came in the room _the shortest_ going to the back of the room to where the double basses were, and _the other one_ going to where the cello lockers were. He took his seat waiting for the class to begin he didn't mind this class if he was being honest, **he just didn't like the people** that were in the class. The teacher had given them a day to practice for a playing test they were doing. He was practicing when the double bass player came over _‘hey man that was pretty good’_ they had said _‘im Katie holt but people call me pidge’_ they had said he nodded at them and was about to play but pidge stopped him _‘you know your really good- I mean like really good I was wondering if you want to hang out with me and my friend’_ they had said but he just looked at them and said in **a monotone** voice _‘no thank you’_ he said as he placed his viola on his chin rest and began to play letting his bow glide across the string, he knew that the piece they were playing was simple, well for him.

After school he was walking down the street **away** from the high school he didn't mind school but if it were up to him he would have dropped out during ninth grade. As he was walking, he stopped by the park he had a good 45 minutes before he had to work, he had started working for families that he babysat and helped with homework and he occasionally gave lessons to kids who played a string instrument. The jobs paid well and the kids were great but he would have to deal with the family he had back home. Not that he hated his family ~~ _he just felt like an outcast_ ~~ever since Marco had gotten Lisa, his girlfriend, pregnant they were all his family ever talked about how the twins look just like them or how they didn't have space for them to live with them or how macro and Lisa are juniors and should focus on school, not kids. Given the circumstances, he realized that he was eighteen and didn't want his parents spending money on him that they could be spending helping macro and his kids. So he stopped asking for things not going to the doctor or asking for rides he didn't want to waste their money on him **he wasn't important to them** , so he took it upon himself to cut all the ties he had with them, though they still tried to talk to him, **he ignored them** by walking away or going into his room.

* * *

 

He always stayed up late the maximum sleep he’s gotten in the past week was maybe a **total of eight-hours** , his eye bags were so bad that he had to go buy some concealer to hide the dark under eyes, he had also l **ost a lot of weight** he was surprised that he was still moving and breathing. some might think that this as a cry for help but it was **him being stubborn** , he wouldn't let his family or school people help him, **he didn't have friends he didn't have anyone and he was fine with that, he was fine, he was okay.** His social skill had plummeted growing up he had loved his siblings being the oldest he loved them and took care of them, but as his family grew and aged **he found himself feeling more and more useless.** During his sophomore year, **he had given up on friendship, people, and family** , selling all his belongings and things he valued. Over the span of four years, he had become **isolated and cold** showing no emotion to anyone.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door he pretended to be asleep ‘hey uh, la cena está lista si quieres’ a voice said ‘y estás dormido. le diré a mamá que estás dormido’ he heard his sister Veronica say he knew that she knew he was awake.his family had started picking up on signs of him not eating and how he was a ghost at home he was once close to telling them how he felt about everything. God how **he wanted to die so badly he wanted the pain, the sadness, and suffering to end** he wanted to end for

~~**Lance Charles Serrano McLain to just be over, to be dead.** ~~

_(translation: hey uh dinner is ready if you want- and you're asleep. I'll tell mom your asleep.)_

He had thought of it of ending it maybe he'd run away and not look back or jumping off a bridge or he’d overdose or he slit his wrist. He thought of the last two but he didn't want to make his family deal with his mess of blood and throw up so he really thought of the first one he was of legal age and could do whatever he wanted and nothing could stop him because he is eighteen. He thought about leaving so much his family didn't care and they wouldn't notice he was barely ever at home so he had his mind set on leaving so that's what he does. He waited till his family went to sleep and dumped out his textbook and every shitty paper he got at school, and He stuffed his hoodies, pants, and shirts in the backpack. As he was walking down the hallway of the home he heard a voice _‘tío lance a dónde vas’_ he heard the voice of his nephew ‘ _Voy a Salir Pero no le digas a nadie que me fui No Estoy Seguro de cuándo volveré o si volveré, así que no se lo digas a tu Abuela y tu abuelo.’_ lance told his nephew _‘ Vamos ya es tarde y deberías irte a la cama. volver a dormir’_ Lance said lightly pushing his nephew towards his nephew's parents' room.

_(translation: I'm going out but don't tell anyone that I left I'm not sure when I'm coming back or if I'm coming back so don't tell your grandma and grandpa, come on now it's late and you should go to bed. go back to sleep)_

* * *

 Lance had bought a ticket that would take him to California. As he was walking to the bus station he saw the boy he helped in the hallway, he saw that he was arguing with the man at the ticket booth ‘ _what do you mean a ticket a ticket cost $191 I only have half of that you dickwad’_ he said yelling at the man _‘sir please calm down before I'm forced to call the police on you-,’_ the man had said calmly _‘-now if you could just call a member of your family to come, to give you the money, or to pick you up’_ the man saying pointing to the phone booths or the exits. it took lance a lot of thinking of wasting his money on some strange kid that probably has anger issues _‘hey I could help if you need the money’_ the black head of hair looked up to see a boy wearing a hoodie which was dumb because Florida gets pretty hot _‘eh thank you but why are you helping me I don't even know you?’_ the black-haired boy said _‘im hurt next time your on the floor in a crowded hallway don't expect me to help you’_ Lance said to the pale boy _‘your the dickwad that walked away from me when I was talking’_ the Asian boy had said _‘the names Lance McClain and your Keith-,’_ he said grabbing Keith hand _‘come on if we wanna make it to the bus I still have to pay for your ticket so come on’_ the tan boy said dragging him.

Lance had paid the rest of the money for Keith ticket which was like $95.50 so it wasn't much considering he had a lot of money _‘so why are you leaving Florida’_ Lance said snapping Keith out of his thoughts _‘i don't know I just don't like Florida, its where my mom grew up but she was from someplace in Korea, but my dad was born in California but raised in Texas so he had a Texan accent that's why mom liked him I guess, she just never seen some like that but then she died and then he died. My moms family took me in I guess but I never got attached to them I'm seventeen bout to be eighteen should be doing something with my life’_ Keith said shrugging _‘what about you. Why are you running away?’_ he said _‘i'm_ **not running away technically** _I'm leaving cause like you said I'm eighteen I should be doing something I am._ **I'm getting out of everyone's hair no more loud lance or annoying anyone just gone.** _’_ he said looking out the window _‘god lance can you be more depressing-,’_ he said chuckling _‘- I mean I thought I was supposed to be the emo one but hey I'm not complaining’_ he said laughing, Lance felt flustered after Keith said that _‘oh yeah well at least I have a better fashion sense then you and, who said mullets are still in’_ Lance said looking at Keith _‘i don't really like to be honest it like a thing my moms family does it means something about being warriors or something not sure my uncle kolivan told me just never paid attention something about how the great Marmora tribe took down the other tribe that terrorized the tiny village I dunno.’_ Keith said in a very stuck up tone Keith.

* * *

 

**October 19, 2030**

The whole ride to California was a pain in the ass because apparently, it would be longer because they had to take a detour because the tickets were so cheap they had to get off at Austin.  Keith was still asleep when they told Lance the situation, lance was awake because his insomnia he was told that they were getting off because they had to get off and ride another bus that was coming in the morning and they could ride that. Lance asked a groggy Keith what he wanted, lance was in no rush to get anywhere and Keith well Keith just wanted to go somewhere but didn't really tell him, so Keith complied with Lance, saying they should wait for the bus that came in the morning. They had walked to a motel and rented a room  the lady in the front had looked at them strangely as she gave Lance the key to the room, **homophobic people** are so weird lance thought to himself, but Lance didn't want to assume so he just said nothing, though Keith being the hot head had started to rant to lance about how he swore he heard the lady give a **homophobic slur** to both of them, Lance shrugged it off and gave Keith the bed and told  him to check for bed bugs and go to sleep, and as he slept lance looked at Austins lights and how small it was but **'so beautiful'**   he thought

It was maybe six in the morning when keith woke up ‘ hey why aren't you asleep’ keith said his voice kinda scratchy from just waking up **‘insomnia’** lance said dryly ‘oh’ was all the asian boy said ‘you know they make pills to let you sleep right’ the pale boy said and following that statement with a ‘where are we’ lance told him that they were in Austin Texas and immediately keith sprung up ‘ dude i grew up in Austin this is my hometown’ he said smiling ‘if you can and are willing to take me, my dad, before he died he left me a car’ he said looking at lance while fidgeting with his hands ‘we can go check it out but if its in bad condition we can take the bus kay?’ keith was quick to pick his things up and started to change in front of lance ‘hey what the fuck keith’ lance said yelling at him ‘what’ he said looking at lance, lance looked flustered ‘change in the bathroom-,’ he said the and then a smug look came on his face ‘-unless you wanna give me a strip tease’ lance said, keith took the opportunity to play around ‘oh what does sir mclain want me to do for him’ keith said as he pushed lance on the bed hovering on top of him getting his face near his the pushing him aways ‘dude I may be gay but I'm not that desperate to be with someone’ he said laughing ‘oh come one keith ~~ **im bi, your gay**~~ its a match made by the **gayness out of god** ’ lance said joking ‘hurry up mclain’ keith said walking into the bathroom with his stuff.

* * *

 

**October 19, 2030**

Lance and Keith had called an uber which lance **didn't trust** but apparently, Keith had a debit card so they could do that. _‘So how far is this place’_ Lance said **looking at nothing** tiny ranches and farms _‘not too far we're almost there’_ he said smiling. When they got there Keith ran out of the car, lance being polite thanked the driver, ‘dude slow down’ lance complained ‘no, come on’ the pale boy ran up ahead and Lance smiled at that. When lance caught up to keith he saw keith looking at the old and beat up shack _‘wow this was so worth the wait’_ lance said joking _‘dude come on this is my old home’_ he said with a pout _‘okay come on we came here for a car remember’_ lance said _‘oh yeah come on it's over here’_ he said but as soon as he opened the door he heard a growl coming from under the car _‘yo keith uh you got a dog or am I about to get mauled by a dog’_ lance said not moving _‘uh no’_ he said looking at lance, keith moved lance _‘what are you doing-’_ lance said panicking _‘-keith get back here’_ he said but keith bent down to where he assumed there was a dog _‘come here ain't nobody gonna hurt you’_ he said cooing, a small black nose peek from under than two brown paws then a tiny head, it barked at keith then looked at lance bark louder, keith took it as a chance to pick him up he grabbed the tiny pupper _‘look lance its a puppy’_ keith said holding it _‘i see that but maybe we should leave it here you know just incase its mom comes back’_ lance said, not wanting to stay and **see it die like the rabbit** , taking the puppy from keith and putting him down _‘now come on we have to hurry and see if this car works’_ the taller boy said going to the car. _‘keith by the way where are the keys’_ he said calling to the Korean _‘, uh I think in the toolbox’_ he said while petting the puppy. He then heard a car engine start _‘holy shit dude it works’_ Lance said _'_ _come on Keith we still have to pick up our stuff_ ’ he said _‘okay’_ the pale boy said he wanted to keep the puppy but he knew Lance didn't so he came up with the stupid idea of stuffing the dog in his shirt. _‘Alright let's go’_ he said not facing lance wanting to laugh out loud because the puppy's fur was tickling his stomach.

Midway through the drive the stopped to fill up on gas and Keith took this time to give the puppy time to potty _‘i thought I made it clear that the puppy was supposed to stay at the shack’_ the pale boys nerves where frightened when he heard Lance's voice coming off as angry _‘i know but it's just a puppy lance’_ he said _‘i don't care let nature do its thing Keith’_ Lance said _‘for god sake it made it this long without you it can live without you’_ he said getting more mad that Keith had gotten attached to the stupid dog, _‘Come on we can drop it off at a shelter on the way’_ Lance said walking away. The rest of the drive was awkward and full of the **puppies whines** and **whimpers** when lance ignored him _‘keith come on talk to me’_ Lance said breaking the silence **‘** _there's nothing to say we're just gonna drop the dog off and we can keep going’_ the black-haired boy said not looking at lance while saying it _‘keith we can't get attached to things’_ Lance said then biting his lower lip and swallowed his pride _‘but, this is your car so, I guess we can keep him’_ Lance said looking at the tiny dog that was looking at him as he pounced on him, _‘alright cowboy we have to get our clothes and then stopped to get some for kosmos and a collar and a leash and harness.’_ keith said looking at lance smiling while petting kosmos.

It took them about an hour to get to the hotel and get kosmos stuff to keep him a happy puppy which consisted of chew toys with a squeaky in it,which lance swore he was about to throw all of his toys out the window, and some doggy treats, _‘keith’_ Lance said _‘hmm’_ he said petting kosmos _‘when’s your birthday’_ the tan boy said while driving they were about to cross the Texas border and into new Mexico _‘uh October 23rd, why?’_ keith said sitting up _‘holy shit that's like in a week’_ he said is a shocked tone Keith still had his phone on him but had turned the tracker off and rest the whole phone he was currently looking for a place to eat _‘hey lance there a McDonald's a couple of miles away’_ Keith said _‘okay I guess we could take a break I'm in no rush plus we need to fill up on_ _gas'_ lance was concentrating on driving, Lance had agreed to drive until they got to Arizona and then Keith would drive the rest of the way. _‘Lance, do you think someone cares that we left?’_ keith said looking down at the sleeping dog _‘no’_ Lance said not looking at Keith, Keith looked flabbergasted at how fast lance answered the question **‘your joking right?’** the pale boy said we a shocked expression ‘ _why would they?-’_ he said _‘-you left because of a reason you weren't attached to your moms family that's why you left right?’_ lance said looking to his right where Keith sat _‘well you have a family who cares about you why did you leave that ?’_ he said his face getting red with anger, letting his temper getting the best of him _‘huh lance I'm pretty sure you had an amazing life with a mom who loved you and a dad who was actually there for you’_ Keith said getting more irritated then he needed to but, he hit a nerve for lance causing Lance to pull over and get out of the car leave Keith inside watching. Lance wanted to yell at Keith but knowing himself he would probably _say something_ which is the reason why he pulled over and started ~~kicking the ground~~ and yelling a string of ~~curse words~~ , Keith just looking at the tan boy outside through the window _‘who does he think he is kosmos’_ he lifting the half-asleep puppy _‘i mean after all I've done I'm here for emotional support i even give him a car, and he wants to yell at me!’_ he said his face getting red, kosmos let out a yawn _‘i don't get kos, he’s weird and I can't read him’_ he said pulling the brown puppy to his chest; lance walked in the car after 5 minutes of kicking and yelling curse words. He acted like nothing happened he just listen to the GPS telling him where to go.

Lance pulled up to the restaurant and told Keith to go get a hotel room with two beds while he ordered the food. Keith had taken the car to a place where they could sleep he left kosmos in the car with the windows open and went inside to rent a room, he went back to pick lance up so they could eat in their room. As Keith pulled up to where Lance was sitting lance got in with no problem ‘hey Keith we have to get more gas’ said eating a fry from the bag ‘okay’ kosmos was looking at lance hoping for some food ‘hey did we buy kos some puppy chow’ Lance said looking at their stuff in the back ‘i think I don't remember’. When they got to the hotel Keith went to get their clothes and kosmos puppy chow out so the dog could also eat, while Lance took kosmos and the food into their room the room was nothing special it smelled like cigarette smoke, lance set kosmos on the bed and food and went to go help Keith, he went to get his backpack since that's the only thing he took Keith on the other hand literally brought a suitcase. Lance was taking the food out while Keith fed kosmos in his tiny bowl, lance was munching on his fries when Keith started talking ‘lance, im sorry I said that stuff’ the black-haired boy said while looking at lance, ‘no its fine, **you said that someone needed to tell me** what I actually had I take things for granted and I fuck everything up Keith, its cool’ Lance said while stuffing his face with his fires ‘besides I did have all those things while you didn't and I'm sorry you had to go through that’ he said looking at Keith ‘i'm sorry Keith’ he said Keith looked at him before feeling his face turning red and then his eyes stinging _‘keith are you crying?’_ the tan boy said while reaching out to touch the shorter boy ‘im fine’ he said while turning ‘keef you forgot your food’ Lance said ‘no one likes cold McDonalds’ he said trying to make a joke ‘oh shut up mclain' he said wiping his eyes and smiling walking towards, where lance sat with the food. That night Keith slept with kosmos and lance went to sleep for maybe 4 hours and then woke up **‘great’** he muttered

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> okay so if you made it this far then great thats a start i'm not sure what i wanted out of this this was kinda made for shits and giggles... but thats it nice to know people read my shitty works.   
> kudos and yeah later haters.


End file.
